Monday, June 13, 2016


The following is a complete re-write of a short story I wrote 9 years ago to cope with my break-up. I rewrote it because thought I could do better. I personally believe I succeeded, not to toot my own horn. Enjoy!

On a May afternoon, 16-year-old Kyle sat by the phone, lost in thought while waiting for a call from his girl. He was lost in the memories of prom, which had taken place the night before. Lost in thought with the treasured memories of slow dancing with Valerie. The feeling of her soft blonde hair sweeping across his face as he held her close whispering a promise in her ear. A promise of his commitment to her. That he would never leave her. He thought about the slow, passionate kiss that ended the perfect night prior. He also thought about the experience of handing her a promise ring a week and a half prior. How his heart raced. How his palms became sweaty and clammy while handing her the ring.

Suddenly, his 8-year-old little brother Daniel entered the room looking for a toy he had lost earlier, thus snapping Kyle back to the present. While Daniel looked, Kyle proceeded to tell his brother that he was deeply in love with Valerie. That he felt like he may have found his “the one”. Daniel, in turn, reacted with disgust. “Yuck! How could you even say that? Girls are disgusting!” Enraged by the comments, Kyle picked up a pillow and threw it at his brother. Daniel fell over from the impact and hit his head against the wall. Daniel stood up with tears in his eyes and ran out of the room screaming “I’m telling Mom!” Kyle didn’t care.

Finally, at about 5:30 that evening, the phone rang. It was Valerie. Kyle answered with much enthusiasm and started to ramble on about how much he misses her, how much he loved her, how much he had thought of the night before. Before long, however, Kyle discerned that something wasn’t right. “What’s wrong, Val?” Valerie, audibly upset, responded in a split second. “Kyle, I have to break up with you.” Kyle’s heart sank. “B-but, why?” “I have some problems at home, and I can’t handle having a boyfriend right now. I’m sorry.” “Why? Did last night not mean anything to you?” “Kyle, please. This is already hard. Don’t make this harder.” “Why can’t we stay together and let me be there for you?” “Kyle, stop. I just...I…I can’t.” Valerie hung up the phone crying. Kyle quietly put the phone down as his eyes began to fill with tears.